Stop trying to be perfect. You're not going to
be. You're listening to that music podcast with Bryson Tarbet, the curriculum designer and educational consultant behind that music teacher in the elementary music Summit. Each week, Bryson and his guests will dive into the reality of being an elementary music teacher and how music can truly be transformative in the lives of the students you serve. Show Notes and resources mentioned in this episode can be found at that music teacher.com Welcome
back to this week's episode of that music podcast where I'm going to give you some tough love, and I'm going to be real quick pull that band aid off and tell you you're going to fail and you're going to let some balls drop, and you are going to let some things slip through the cracks. And I'm here to tell you that that's okay. I want you to I don't want you to try to be the superhuman person that does literally everything absolutely perfect, because that comes at the cost of absolute overwhelm and burning out. So I know that there are certain things that have to be done. So think about, you know, a
lot of times we say like, Oh, I dropped the ball on that one, and I want you to think I didn't come up with this. I can't tell you who did, so if you know, please let me know. But pretend we're juggling a bunch of balls, right? All these are all the different things that we have going on. We have, you know, our performances. We have our kids. You can home from school. We have these other things. All these different things. Are the things that we are responsible for. Sometimes we have to let a ball drop so that we don't drop all of them. So what I want you to do is I want you to think about
which balls are glass and which are rubber. If you drop something, sometimes there are certain tasks where if you drop it, you'll be able to pick it back up and it's going to be okay. And then there are certain things that if you drop it, it's going to shatter and it's going to blow everything else up. So think about what those are in your life. Think about what the non negotiables are. So if that non negotiable is picking your kids up from school, which it probably should be, that is going to happen at the expense of anything else, because that is an absolute non negotiable, if you have to have your performance ready by XYZ, then that's probably going to be more of a non negotiable than some other things, say, like decorating for Christmas, like that might not happen. You might not decorate your classroom, that's okay. So figure out kind of prioritize what you have to do so that you don't have this idea that you're going to do everything and then get lost in the overwhelm. There are certain things that when I get into a busy season, I let go, and I plan to let them go, because I know that otherwise, everything is going to come falling to the ground. For instance, the way that I did my performances when I was in the classroom was always in a way that could be put together very quickly if we needed to be because I always, I never wanted to be in another situation, like where I was with when I had my fourth grade concert one of these years where I ended up in the hospital with appendicitis, and, like, we just had, like, things kind of moved very quickly from there, but they were great because of the way that I set things up. But had I not and that would have been wild. So this episode is going to be short and sweet, but what I want you to do, I want you to take a moment, and I want you to realize all of the different things that you are juggling. Write them down. Because, first of all, I think you're going to be surprised with just how many things you're doing,
because if you're like me, you have that little voice in the back of your head that's telling you that you can always do more and you're not good enough, and that what you're doing isn't enough for the people around you. But when you write all the things that you're doing, so picking up your kids, getting groceries, cooking for dinner, you know, decorating the house for the house for the Christmas party where your family's going to come over, getting your performance ready, all these different things. Once you see them all listed out, sometimes you can go, Oh, I'm doing a lot. Maybe I should give myself a little bit of grace. So once you have them written out, I want you to highlight or circle or star start. The ones that like just have to happen. Like, there's no ifs ands or buts, these have to happen, even if that means I have to cross one of these other things off my list. And when I say cross it off the list, it doesn't mean you're never going to do it. Sometimes it can mean, like, you know what? It's not going to happen this week. Maybe it can happen next week. Or, hey, maybe it's going to happen at 80% because 80% is better 80% done is better than 0% done. You know, if you really like deep cleaning your kitchen, maybe you just do a quick surface clean, right? It's better than nothing. Figure out how, what kind of concessions you can make, so that you're not stuck in this false idea that you have to do everything, or you're just not a good person and you're just that. You're You're just not worth it. Figure out what are the priorities in your life? What are the things that you need to get done and let the extra stuff go? I know that sounds easier said than done, especially if you're a recovering perfectionist like I am,
but the reality is that we need to do this.
Us to protect ourselves, to protect the students that are around us, the energy that we feed them, to protect our families. We cannot try to be Superman or Superwoman and do everything all the time. We have to prioritize, ask for help when we need it, and then also say no if we don't have any more bandwidth. You know, I've seen it's crazy, these, these Facebook groups that I'll see, like, hey, my principal just asked me if I could do a, you know, a Christmas sing along tomorrow. What do you what should I do? I'm like, No, say no. That's not enough time to get ready. That no say no. And which, again, I know is also easier said than done, as a recovering people pleaser that I am as well. But like, we have to sometimes be the bad guy and be like, I cannot do this. I do not have any more bandwidth. This is not going to happen at this point in the way that you're wanting it.
Will you make people mad? Yeah, are there going to be people that probably are disappointed you? Maybe, but remember that their perception of you does not equal the reality of you, right? There are things that we have to do sometimes to protect us that other people disagree with, but that's okay, because as grown ups, we can agree that sometimes we disagree, and that's okay.
So while this episode isn't super like, do this in your classroom tomorrow, where, you know, all these different things. I think it's really important, because especially when we take some time and slow down kind of during, you know, if you have a winter break, you might have the opportunity to realize that you are burning yourself out and you the way that you are, are living your your school life, and during the school year when you're not on breaks, is just not sustainable. So if you're struggling with what I'm saying and you're really like, I just don't know where to start, I want you to pick one thing that you are responsible for that was on that list and just cross it out. Either it doesn't get done anymore or you're going to do it next week, but for whatever reason, it's not going to happen this week. Get one, one of those balls that you're juggling out of the air so that you can focus on the rest of them, especially those ones that are made out of class, that if you end up letting them drop, everything else is going to come crashing to the ground. I would love to hear your favorite tips for getting things done and also just kind of protecting your time and setting those boundaries and realizing that sometimes you're gonna have to choose not to be perfect. If you have any suggestions for what you do or what you would suggest other people to do, send us an email, hello at that music teacher.com or if you're inside that music teacher community, post it in the community forum so that we can share our best tips and tricks for there. If you would like to learn more about how to join that music teacher community, which is our membership for community and content specific professional development for music teachers just like you, you can check out the links wherever you are listening to this episode. With that being said, I have you hope you have a wonderful holiday season, and in case nobody's told you, thank you so much for making a difference in the lives of the students that you teach you.
